​Read a daughter’s story about why it’s important to start planning now for the care you may need later.
by Lauren Jiles-Johnson, for LTCI Partners, LLC
​https://www.neamb.com/insurance/the-good-daughter-a-caregivers-long-term-care-story.htm

Nearly 20 years ago, my mother came to live with us. She was retired and in good health, but it was no longer feasible for her to live alone in her neighborhood. I thought, “How bad could it be? She’s a gourmet cook, a talented pianist. It will be good for the kids. Maybe it will be good for all of us.” And so she moved. We gave her our master bedroom and turned the third floor office of our Victorian house into our room. Two weeks later, she had a massive stroke and lost much of the movement on her right side. And now I had another role: wife, mother, professional and caregiver.

I don't know if long-term care insurance even existed then, but we didn't know about it or have it. We had a caregiver come in part time, three days a week, to help my mom. My mother had health insurance and Medicare, but we were surprised to learn that neither of those pay for Long Term Care Services. So we paid for her caregivers ourselves. If we had to do it today, the cost would be overwhelming.

I worked four days a week back then. We had a full-time babysitter for the kids. It was a blessing that the baby-sitter was there, because if Mom fell, which she sometimes did, she could not get up. One night I came home to Mom sitting on the floor in the kitchen and the baby-sitter was sitting with her keeping her company. Mom fell and the baby-sitter couldn’t lift her. So she sat and talked with her.   Those days were a blur of errands, chores and work. I remember thinking of laundry as a marathon each week, washing clothes and linens for three adults and two little children. Just leaving the room required extensive explanations. “Where ya goin’?” the baby would say. “Upstairs for my glasses.” “Where are you going?” The 4 –year old would ask. “Upstairs for my glasses,” I’d repeat. And then, somehow missing that conversation, Mom would inquire, “Where are you going?” “Upstairs for my glasses,” I’d say irritably.   

I’ve never been so exhausted, physically and mentally.   There was bathing and dressing everybody, kids and Mom.     And dealing with everyone’s tantrums and emotional swings, kids and Mom. And cooking and cleaning. And negotiating some semblance of balance of chores with my husband, who traveled a lot for work. And being confused and stressed and unsure if I was doing the right thing for my mother’s care.

I bought long-term care insurance when I was 49, a bit younger than the average. By then, my mother had passed away and my son and daughter were in high school. Occasionally, I wondered which of them might make a better caregiver if I ever needed one. But I don’t want them to go through what I did. So I bought insurance so I could potentially have some control.  And if I ultimately need to go to a nursing home, it will allow me to afford the best facility possible.

My health is outstanding and I have every expectation of living a long, healthy life. But there is a chance that some day when I am 90, I will need some help with a few everyday activities. If that happens, my long-term care insurance will help me to remain in my home. It will pay for caregivers to do the heavy lifting. When my children and future grandchildren visit, it will not be to work, it will be for movie night or game night with grandma.

这是一个"好“女儿亲诉的故事。关于长期护理保险的重要性。

将近20年前，妈妈搬来和我们住在一起。她已经退休并且身体健康，但她在自己的社区独居已经不可行了。我当时想，"情况可能不会太糟吧？她是位美食家和才华横溢的钢琴家。这对孩子们来说会很好。也许对我们所有人都有好处。"于是她搬来了。我们把我们的主卧室让给了她，然后把我们维多利亚式房屋的第三层办公室改成了我们的房间。两周后，她中风了，右侧的大部分身体活动力都丧失了。这时我又多了一个角色：妻子、母亲、职业精英和护工。
我不知道那时是否存在长期护理保险，但我们不知道也没有购买。我们雇了一位护工，每周三天帮助我妈妈。我妈妈有健康保险和医疗保险，但我们惊讶地发现，这两者都不支付长期护理服务的费用。所以我们自己支付了她的照顾者费用。如果我们现在不得不这样做，费用将是不堪重负的。
那时候，我一周工作四天。我们为孩子们雇了一位全职保姆。保姆在那里真是个福气，因为妈妈有时候会摔倒，如果妈妈摔倒了，她就无法起身。有一天晚上，我回家发现妈妈坐在厨房的地板上，保姆陪伴在她身边。妈妈摔倒了，保姆无法把她扶起来。所以她坐在那里和她聊天。
那些日子里，琐事、家务和工作交织在一起。我记得每周单是洗衣服和床单就是一项马拉松式的任务。 要给三个成年人和两个小孩洗衣服和床单。甚至只是短暂离开房间都需要进行反复解释。“你去哪儿？”小宝会问。“上楼拿我的眼镜。”“你要去哪里？”四岁的孩子会问。“上楼拿我的眼镜。”我会重复回答。然后，妈妈似乎漏掉了那次对话，她会询问：“你要去哪里？”我有点恼怒地回答：“上楼拿我的眼镜。”
我从来没有如此筋疲力尽，身心俱疲。需要给每个人洗澡和穿衣服，孩子们和妈妈都需要。需要应对每个人的发脾气和情绪波动，孩子们和妈妈都是如此。还要做饭和打扫卫生。要与经常出差的丈夫协商家务的某种平衡。我感到困惑、压力重重，并不确定我是否在为母亲的照顾做对了正确的事情。
我在49岁时购买了长期护理保险，比平均年龄稍年轻一些。那时，我的母亲已经去世，我的儿子和女儿正在上高中。偶尔，我会想，如果将来我需要照顾，他们中的哪一个可能是更好的照顾者。但我不希望他们经历我所经历的。所以我购买了保险，这样我就可以潜在地掌控一些情况。像大多数保单一样，我的保险将指派一名照料协调员来帮助家人评估我的需求、制定护理计划，甚至找到照顾者。它还覆盖家庭改造，如坡道或淋浴间的扶手，以帮助我留在家里。当然，它也会支付护工到我的家中的费用。如果最终我需要去养老院，它将让我负担得起最好的设施。
我健康状况良好，并且对长寿、健康的生活有着很高的期望。但有一天，当我90岁时，可能会需要一些日常活动的帮助。如果那样的情况发生，我的长期护理保险将帮助我留在家中。它将支付护工来承担较重的工作。当我的子女和未来的孙辈来访时，他们不会来工作，而是会度过电影之夜或和奶奶一起玩游戏。